November Adventures

     In the first half of November, my husband got thrown on a tail swap (plane exchange) to the Middle East.  I had planned on taking the opportunity to go visit my brother up in Iowa and an old friend in Chicago.  However, my husband was just sure that he would be back on time and didn't feel too certain about me going to Chicago without him, so I scrapped that plan to give him peace of mind.  Lo and behold, the day of his supposed return came and went and he was stranded in Crete for a week.  After hearing his plans of taking a sailing tour around the island and sending me pictures of his adventures up to an old monastery, I packed up the girls and met my mom in St. Louis.  While it may not have been as picturesque of a visit as a free vacation in the Mediterranean, we still had lots of fun exploring a new city.

     What was supposed to be a 4 day mission turned into a 14 day one (same as the last tail swap he found himself on).  My husband finally got home at 2 AM the morning we were to hit the road to make the grandparent circuit for Thanksgiving.  We first visited his parents in Tennessee, then made our way down to Florida to see my family, then meandered over to New Orleans to traipse around there for a day before heading back home.  It was a rushed and very full few days, but still worth it to see everyone!  Oh, and all of these were shot on my brand spankin' new to me Leica M6 :-D

The Surprises of Expired Film

     Shooting film is always an exciting experience.  The anticipation of getting scans back is like waiting for Christmas morning, but when you know that you shot a roll on film that expired over 20 years, the anxiousness manifests itself tenfold in your psyche.  Something about knowing that I don't know how the film was stored all those years and therefore is incredibly unpredictable actually becomes an extremely freeing experiment.  I can shoot whatever I want and push the limits a bit more because 1. the film was free for me and 2. there's no pressure/sense of failure if it comes back a catastrophe...I can just blame the results on the previous owner not storing it correctly ;-)  In this case, however, I got a couple of my favorite shots ever.  Here's my first favorite:

The film got quite fogged here, but it makes it look like she's tip toeing through her dreams.  I may or may not have literally gasped when this one came up...

Here's another favorite, strictly because it's a bit spooky and was appropriately taken on Halloween.

And here are a few more that just make me happy to look at!

Hand Me Down Camera and Lens Fun

     My dad was an avid collector of all things camera.  We're talking a room full of gear: camera bodies, lenses, bags, adapters, developing chemicals, etc.  He has routinely given me some stuff that he hasn't shot in decades.  Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't...but this time they did.  These shots were from a Nikkormat EL and 50mm combo.  You can tell that the quality isn't the same as my Nikon F100, but hey, it works!!  Oh, and I just bought a mint black and chrome Leica M6 and Summicron 35mm f2 combination, complete with a red leather strap.  Words cannot describe my excitement...

Seattle Escape

     Every year, my favorite photography community holds a conference in a fun city.  Thousands of female photographers descend upon the town and make the residents feel famous.  We get to attend inspiring speeches, learn from the pros in small boutique classes, and explore the area with our cameras.  I was so excited to see that Seattle was on tap for this year's Click Away!  This is also my chance for an annual "Mommy Only" time away and while I do miss my little munchkins, those 4-5 days each year that I have to myself are pure bliss.  I get to enjoy my tea and books in peace, laze around in bed if I want to, wander and get lost in a strange area with only my own well-being to be concerned for :-p

     I actually skipped out on a couple of speeches this year so that I could really venture out and discover my surroundings.  I took the ferry over to Bainbridge Island and just walked around for about 4 hours, which was so relaxing.  I also took another big chance and brought only my film gear once again on this trip and didn't regret it for a second.  Shooting film makes me so much more observant of my surroundings.  I even figured out how to use the self timer and was able to capture a few "selfies" on film!  I absolutely fell in love with the colors and textures of the Pacific Northwest and I cannot wait to return for a longer stint sometime in the future...

Bumbling Around the Southwest

     Well, I received the scans back from our trip around the Southwest and I think it's safe to say that I won't bother bringing a digital camera with me anymore.  In fact, I'm here in Seattle for Click Away without my digital.  That's right, I went to a photography convention with only a film camera and will have to wait a few weeks to see what I captured in this amazing city.  I seriously love the anticipation though!  Our society is far too centered on immediate gratification, and I love that film forces me to slow down and truly appreciate the moment, and then your patience gets rewarded and you get to relive the memories all over again several days later.  

     That's what I got to do last week when I got back almost 200 images of our most recent vacation, and I fell in love with just about all of them immediately.  For the first time, I felt that I was truly documenting AND enjoying our time together rather than repeatedly taking shots to get just the right angle, just the right light, just the right expression, etc.  This time, I simply saw something that stood out to me, took the shot, and returned to my family.  Yes, sometimes an image was underexposed or blurry, but it was the most present I've been while on vacation with my husband and kids.  It was wonderful.

     We started our journey in San Antonio, and got an amazing free room upgrade from the cheapest basic street-side double, to a RiverWalk front deluxe suite with a private balcony.  SUH-WEEET!  We wandered around for a couple of days exploring the canal, touring the Alamo, and sampling the Tex-Mex.

     From there, we went to this really awesome middle of nowhere Texas town known as Marfa.  We stayed in a totally hippie vintage trailer compound and the girls were so happy, they couldn't stop running in circles.  It was truly a very unique experience and if you ever find yourself lost in West Texas, go to El Cosmico ;-)

     We then made our way to Albuquerque, but obviously had to make a pit stop at the White Sands National Monument!  A lot of these came out underexposed, but you can still make out the faces of joy/terror.

While in Albuquerque, the state fair was in town so we decided to check it out.  We dropped far too much money on wristbands we ended up not even being able to use, but the girls had a blast looking at all the lights, eating hot dogs, and dancing to "Gangnam Style."  Those things were free...

The next morning, we got our own private horseback riding tour through a canyon.  This is the only outfitter I've encountered in the States that allows you to ride tandem with really young children, so I was incredibly thankful for that.  Believe it or not though, my youngest managed to fall asleep and STAY ASLEEP even while the horse was trotting. 

After Albuquerque, we made the magnificent drive up to Ouray, CO, where my husband's aunt and uncle own a house.  The views there are. to. die. for.  I want to move there.  Seriously.  My eldest got to see a deer and a turkey crossing just feet away from her, we went hiking into a canyon with a waterfall, and my husband's family took us on a Jeeping adventure up and over a 15,000+ ft mountain.  I thought we were all going to die on more than one occasion, but I'm sure with time my memories will convolute those moments into a nostalgic tale from their childhood.

Since we were so close to the Four Corners, we decided to go a little out of way and stay in the Mesa Verde National Park lodge.  We even booked a room where we could see all four states from our balcony.  I saw one of the most beautiful sunrises of my life on that balcony...I swear they're more colorful in the desert.  We explored the ruins, ate rattlesnake sausage, and did the obligatory "stand in all four states at once" tourist thing.

We trekked back into New Mexico and ended our trip with a 2 night stay in a very cool teepee.  The girls were just beside themselves to be staying in such a big "tent" and my eldest was quite fascinated by the composting toilet outhouse :-p  Our stay there was perfectly timed with a full moon, yet we could still see the Milky Way with ease.  I just fell in love with Santa Fe...everyone was so friendly, the community was so artistic, and the weather was just beautiful.  I miss it already.

And here are a few more random snaps from all over then I'm done, I promise!

Whew!  Well, there you have it...my longest post to date/possibly ever.  Although we did just book tickets to Costa Rica for the spring, so I'm betting that'll be a long one as well ;-)

Fly Away

     My husband has been deployed for the past few months and when we were within 3 weeks of his return, I foolishly told the girls that "Daddy would be home soon."  Seeing as they are 2 and 3, their comprehension of the term "soon" was only loosely based on an actual time continuum.  Our days were consumed with tears as they repeatedly asked if Daddy would be home tonight, tomorrow morning, will he ever return, what if I make him a yummy cake?  My eldest usually wakes up early, exclaiming "Happy Morning Day!" but instead, I'd go check on her and find this: 

Needless to say, our hearts couldn't handle it anymore, so I decided to pack the girls in the van and head out to visit all of the grandparents!  Our first stop was just outside of Memphis where we celebrated their uncle's birthday, fed catfish in the lake, and visited the zoo.

     After spending a few days there, we piled into the van again and drove to Pensacola, FL, my hometown.  We spent most of our time at the beach where the girls chased seagulls and pretended to be a lifeguard like Mommy (in her past life).  We also treated ourselves to cheeseburgers at a favorite local joint!

     After Pensacola, we drove down to Tampa with their uncle to go play at Busch Gardens with their cousin!  I didn't dare to bring my camera into the park, so no shots of them but rest assured that they had a fantastic time ;-)  After making the three day drive back to Oklahoma, we only had a couple of days to wait for Daddy to come home...

     We promptly hit the road again soon after he came home and took a couple of weeks to explore the Southwest.  We went to San Antonio, Marfa, Albuquerque, Santa Fe, Ouray, and Mesa Verde and it was truly one of the best vacations of my life!  I shot 5 rolls of film and just sent them off to my lab today...I cannot wait to get the scans back.  Be ready for a large photo share in a couple of weeks!

Impromptu Indoor Session

     I woke up the other morning feeling inspired and ready to create something beautiful with my camera!  I loaded a roll of Portra 400 into my camera, rated it at 200, and walked around the house to gather ideas.  I knew I wanted something cozy and intimate to capture.  Unfortunately, my bedraggled, yet wild, little girls were not feeling the same creative juices as I was.  I fired off two frames before I realized I was wasting shots; it just wasn't going to happen with them that day.  So then I got in touch with my friend...

     She's always been down for being my guinea pig.  We actually met through a "model call" for when I was casting for pet photography, and her kitties stole my heart.  I have since worked with her for maternity, newborn, bridal, and cake smash portraits, and now we've added a nursing session to our extensive list of shoots!  I asked the lab to push the roll a stop as well, and I absolutely LOVE these images!  I'm so happy to know that my vision for indoor shoots can be translated onto film as well.  

A Fun Family Visit

     I was so happy to have my mom, niece, and nephew come visit the girls and me for a little over a week recently.  We went out to explore the area and hit up Hoboken Coffee Roasters (a seriously awesome little joint in Guthrie), Thunder Fountain/Myriad Gardens, and The Wedge Pizzeria.  Who doesn't love playing tourist in their own town?

     For my fellow film geeks, the images from the coffee shop were shot on consumer Fuji Superia 200 (rated at box speed) and pushed one stop.  I love the tones for the indoor frames, but it definitely made skin tones a bit too magenta in my opinion.  The fountain and pizzeria images were shot on Portra 400 (rated at 200) and also pushed one stop.  It obviously has much more accurate and pleasing skin tones than the Fuji Superia 200, but I think I still prefer the Fuji 400H overall.  I did just shoot a roll of Portra 400 (rated at 200) all indoors today with a friend and will be dropping it off tomorrow for processing, so maybe Portra will steal my heart soon!

Falling for Film

     I've been bitten by the film bug, hard.  The whole process of shooting analog makes my soul sing and my heart happy, from the careful selection of film stock depending on my shooting scenario, to the ability to determine when I want to press the shutter, to the anticipation of receiving my scans so that I can relive the moment that I created the photograph.  Shooting film forces me to slow down, focus, and appreciate the present moment rather than taking on the rapid-fire shooting stance digital tends to lend itself to.  I obviously won't be giving up digital for there's something to be said for its ease and convenience, but film has definitely solidified a starring role in my photography life!  Here are several examples of what I've been up to these past few months!

My Evolving Style

     Photography is an interesting and exciting journey filled with both beauty and frustration.  It takes a photographer years to master the craft, develop her style (both in shooting and editing), and claim pride in her work.  We're drawn this way and that, comparing ourselves to other photographers, judging our value by the amount of attention our images receive, and striving for perfection under the parameters constructed by some all-knowing photography rule book.  It's no wonder that we can fall into the trap of questioning our abilities and even our reason for pursuing our passion.

     I've spent the first part of this year battling self-doubt and insecurity, and I've finally realized that I just have to say "screw it."  I'm shooting for me.  I'm shooting for my family.  I'm working to preserve our memories of this short, precious life we lead.  And you know what?  It's not perfect. It's not even pretty a lot of the time.  But it perfectly represents us, and that's what matters.  

Presenting Princess Alison

     A charming couple that I've known since moving to Oklahoma recently had their very first bundle of joy...a perfectly precious and sweetly squishy newborn girl!  I had the good fortune of doing a lifestyle session for them on the day she turned two weeks old and let me tell you, I enjoyed every minute of it!  The proud parents were so relaxed and at ease and their adorable daughter had the perfect mix of drowsiness and curiosity, so I was able to capture both sleepy and awake images.  Without further fanfare, I present to you, Alison Elise...

Double Trouble!

     I was fortunate enough to work with newborn twin girls a couple of weeks ago and let me tell you, they were GORGEOUS!  I had worked with this family last year capturing a lifestyle session with their oldest daughter, so it was very cool to get to work with their newest girls as well.  They had a lovely addition put on to their master bedroom to accommodate the babies, and it was just so beautiful, cozy, and filled with light...a lifestyle photographer's dream, for sure!!  I got some of my favorite newborn pictures thus far so without further ado, here they are...introducing, Ruby and Sadie, the cutest new babies on the block!

Just Laugh

    Laughter really is the best medicine.  I truly believe that we all take ourselves just a bit too seriously, and by a bit, I mean way too much.  We’re all just bumbling buffoons in costumes bouncing along, trying not to knock anything over or destroy something during this journey of life.  Life ends too quickly, so why waste our precious moments chastising ourselves for saying or doing something completely idiotic at times?  I know that I’m your classic introvert that morphs into a blabbering fool if I find myself in a group of more than say, two people.  I’m also well acquainted with not-so-graceful face plants and running into objects that have been in the same location for years.  What can I say or do to defend my word vomit and clumsy physical deficiencies?  Nothing.  I believe that one of two outcomes are possible for those people that I have graced with my display of social awkwardness: they can take me way too seriously and judge my ineptitudes with an air of superiority and disdain (which is a reaction that I can’t control, nor do I find these people to be of interest to me…I’ve found them to be quite boring human specimens), or they can graciously smile and maybe even genuinely chuckle and lend a hand or a story of a similar embarrassing incident which they get to call all their own.  Voila!  A kindred spirit has been found in my chaotically unfolding story of existence.  So come on, people, lighten up!  Live a little.  Laugh a lot.  Remember, we’re all just bumbling buffoons in costumes…

My Moody Ocean

Dear Girls,

    I confess that I don’t understand you at times.  Your moods remind me of my days of youth spent standing on the shore, watching the waves roll in.  As the water slipped back to sea, it left behind fat fingers in the sand that sparkled and playfully tickled the soles of my feet, inviting me to come join the colorful shells and silly crabs.  I was always left with the feeling of pureness, completely lost in that moment of simple and complete joy.  This is the same unclouded awareness I enjoy when I see your smiles, hear your giggles, and feel your little arms wrapped around me.

    But waves always return, don’t they?  They would race in, stand tall for a split second, then crash down on the sparkly fingers.  Foam flew into the air, the crabs skittered away, and the shells were momentarily lost in the turbulent water.  I would brace for the impact not out of fear, but out of anticipation.  I knew that each wave brought new shells, more glitter, and stronger hands that would grasp the tops of my feet, then my ankles, my shins…

    And so my days by the shore would go, much like my days with you pass as well.  When I was young, I struggled to understand why I sunk deeper and deeper into the shimmering sand, but I never cared.  It made me love the beach even more.  Now that I’m in my youth of parenthood, I feel the same.  While I brace for the full impact of your more trying emotional crashes, not always being sure what brought them on, I find solace in the knowledge that there’s something magical on the other side.  Soon enough, I will see your sparkling smiles and feel your strong little hands wrap around me again, and I will sink deeper in love with you with every wave that rolls my way.

Catching Up, Part Two

     Squarespace kept crashing, so after an hour of pulling out my hair and yelling at the screen, I'm just going to break up these pictures.  Here's the second half!

Catching Up, Part One

     After a whirlwind of festivities, family visits, and the flu, I'm finally getting around to updating my blog.  Did I get to shoot everyday this past month?  Nope.  So I guess I've already "failed" at my 365 Project, but I did capture lots of images that I love.  I only missed maybe a total of a week of shooting, so I'm not too worried.  Life happens, after all.  Without further ado, here are my favorites from the dozens I've taken over the past few weeks...

Going Outside of My Comfort Zone

     I wasn't able to post the picture from yesterday because the website wouldn't load, so playing a little catch-up here.  This first picture is of my girls eating breakfast at their favorite dining spot in the house: the step down into the living room.  Tables are overrated anyways, right?  And perhaps you're asking what that 2x4 block contraption is on the pillar...that would be a "workout necessity" for my husband to do pull ups and back muscles something or other.  There are a total of four of these lovely aesthetic blocks that he put up while I was at Click Away.  Awesome, right?  Shot at f/2, 1/200, ISO 250

     This was the shot that I took today.  Every year, one of our neighbors has a burn in the creek on the back of our property and we also throw some of our branches on the fire as well.  It takes all day and is really hot and I end up quite sore and exhausted by the time the sun is going down.  Watching the light streaming through the smoke makes it all worth it though.  Shot at f/8, 1/250, ISO 800

     So what do these pictures have to do with going outside of my comfort zone?  Well, as I'm sure you've noticed, I seem most comfortable right in my subject's face (although they may not feel the same way).  With both of these images, I had taken quite a few steps back which makes me extremely uncomfortable.  Remarkably, both girls are looking at me in the first which pretty much NEVER happens and I wasn't even sure what to do or say.  In the second image, my kids aren't in it.  I'm pretty lost when I see a scene that I want to capture without my kids...what's the focus of the frame?  Oh well, I still like it, if even for nostalgia's sake.

Baby to Toddler Eyelashes

     I recently noticed that my youngest's eyelashes are finally starting to darken and fill in.  She's  incredibly blonde, so I wasn't sure when/how much/if her eyelashes would grow and turn from light to dark.  I just had to get a picture of these pretties that frame her big eyes.  Maybe her hair is next??  I kind of hope not...I love my little towhead!  Shot at f/2.2, 1/320, ISO 100.

Makeshift Crown

     Today was one of those days when I was shooting constantly, but not liking anything that I saw.  I was focusing on my oldest toddler today and she was in rare form: refusing to hold still for longer than 2 seconds, weird faces in every frame, occasionally stepping on her sister.  I finally grabbed a mini wreath from our Christmas decorations and told her to put it on her head, turn away from me, and count to three.  She gave me one second, but that was enough to get this so-so frame.  Shot at f/2, 1/250, ISO 100.

I should've just left them be, since all they wanted to do was lay around in the monkey grass...

Post Nap Snuggle

     Birdie actually woke up fairly happy from her nap, so I nabbed the opportunity to get a picture of my husband cuddling with her.  Shot at f/2.8, 1/250, ISO 250.